Just can't stop yourself from coming super-fast during sex? There you are in the throes of passion and suddenly it's all over before it even began. But before you write yourself off as a sexual failure, it's worth knowing that coming quickly is actually very common, and premature ejaculation affects most men at some point during their life. The good news is it's also easily fixed and most men can learn how to delay ejaculation. Sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight , and psychosexual therapist Krystal Woodbridge offer their expert tips on learning to put the breaks on ejaculation and enjoy a healthy, satisfying and perfectly timed sex life:.
1. Work it out
Last Updated: June 6, References Approved. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. There are 20 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has 39 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status.
2. Limit your thrusting
Thanks to cheap sitcom jokes, the marathon power poundings of porn , and a host of other cultural and societal pressures, many men worry about not lasting long enough in bed. Lasting as long as Kanye West , they learn, is a perquisite for good sex and self-respect. Popping off too early is visceral proof they cannot please a partner or live up to the expectations of masculinity. Nobody wants no One Minute Man , after all. The consensus opinion among sex therapists seems to be that most heterosexual couples think seven-to minutes of pure penile-vaginal penetration is desirable, but that three to seven minutes is completely adequate. Meanwhile, studies of human sexual behavior have found that the average man can thrust for about five-and-a-half minutes before climax; few last over twelve minutes. Data on non-hetero sexual desires and performance is, unfortunately, harder to come by. It should also by now be common knowledge that ample foreplay is often far more important for a good sexual encounter than a long slog of pure pumping.
A scientist, though, would phrase the same question in an almost comically obscure way: What is the mean intravaginal ejaculation latency time? Measuring an average time to ejaculation is not a straightforward matter. What about just asking people how long they take , you say? Well, there are two main problems with this. The best study we have estimating the average time to ejaculation in the general population involved couples from around the world timing themselves having sex over a four-week period — using a stopwatch. You may note this could affect the mood somewhat, and might perhaps not exactly reflect the natural flow of things. So what did the researchers find? The most striking result is that there was a huge amount of variation. The average time for each couple that is, averaged across all the times they had sex ranged from 33 seconds to 44 minutes.